If someone were to ask me “what is the single most important thing you should do if you’re having a baby out of your home country,” my answer would, without a doubt, be: find a doula! Darby was our family doula for my second pregnancy abroad. Unfortunately, my first birthing experience was not how I had imagined it and I went into the second one anxious and on edge. Having Darby by my side made a world of difference. She supported both me and my husband while we navigated a complex health system and her emotional strength allowed us to make informed choices, under our own terms. I can positively say that it is mainly due to Darby’s support that we had a second birthing experience which was whole, positive and healing. During this journey, she was much more than a doula. She was an experienced partner, a supporting friend and a pillar of the mom-tribe we are missing here but sorely needed.
I was lucky to have Darby by my side through my second pregnancy. Her advice and support made me feel much safer and confident about my pregnancy issues and the birth itself. Darby never leaves any, even the weirdest question unanswered, even if it demands additional research on her part. Being mom-to-be for the second time I was pretty sure I knew everything and I was truly surprised how much Darby was able to explain to me. The number of exercises she showed me turned out to be very helpful for pelvic pain I was suffering from the most of my pregnancy.
I wish I had this kind of professional support when I was pregnant with my first son.
But the thing that impressed me the most was not Darby’s knowledge of a woman’s body or her long experience in all kinds of babywearing, but her amazing natural empathy. She instinctively senses and respects boundaries you and your partner may have and establishes very comfortable relationships for everybody. In my opinion this quality is crucial for being a good doula, especially for someone who, like Darby, works in Munich’s multicultural environment.